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Why Is the First Date the Toughest?

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The initial day is the hardest for the reason that you happen to be meeting someone for the initial time. Though you’ve got noticed their photographs and browse their profile, you however marvel what they glimpse like in individual. You want to make a excellent impact and you fear they will not like you. Normally be oneself and your initial day will go a good deal smoother. You’ve appeared forward to this day hoping it will not be a disaster.

Most singles are searching for the desire day in hopes that it turns into a fantastic connection. It sets in anxiety and strain, generating it tough to handle a conversation. You be concerned about the way you glimpse, and the dresses you happen to be wearing. Plan forward on what you happen to be going to speak about and how you happen to be going to current oneself.

There are so numerous points going on in your head that your creativity is out of control. The reverse could occur these kinds of as a dude that wishes to have a a person night time stand, while you happen to be searching for a connection. Then you have to start out all around once again. If you ended up matched adequately, then the two singles are ordinarily sensation the exact same strain.

Both of those profiles will have to be a match for compatibility. If not, your day possibly lied on his profile or the relationship company did a lousy work screening him. When you satisfy your day for the initial time, check out to speak to him as he was a person of your pals. Dialogue is most likely the hardest, so if you can master that, it will make the day a great deal less complicated for you.

Find common pursuits that will aid the connection flourish. Many couples have married by way of a relationship company living a content lifestyle. Which is the plan of a profile to satisfy the proper individual. It normally takes considerably less than a minute to know if you like someone, so if you believe this is the dude of your goals, then continue to keep the initial day shorter.

If the initial day went well, then the second day will be a great deal less complicated. If you the two like every other, you can strategy a second day for a extended time. As you go on relationship this individual, you will get to know him and you’ll the two have hobbies and curiosity you can get involved in. After you get by way of the initial day, it receives less complicated.

The first date can lead to a amazing connection, so make sure your profile matches your day. I know of a pair that fulfilled by way of a relationship company and it was appreciate at initial sight. It was in the outdated faculty days right before the relationship sites. They have been happily married for thirty many years.

Dating Recommendations For Fellas – Recommendations On How Fellas Can Have Out A Prosperous Day

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Relationship is a pretty challenging issue. It is a dance that requirements to men and women who are to begin with captivated to each other and would like to find out if it can be achievable for them to choose on the following phase which is exceptional relationship.

It is a prevalent knowledge that men normally make the very first phase all through relationship. It is them who normally check with the women for dates. As a result, there are various recommendations that men would need to have to take into consideration in get to carry out a certain date efficiently. If you are a guy who is about to take into consideration relationship, there are various relationship recommendations for men beneath that you may possibly desire to take into consideration:

The Good Technique

So you want to go check with a specific female out on a date. What can probably be the most suitable method? You will need to have to take into consideration her form of personality. Also, put together yourself for the achievable rejection. Not all women will choose kindly to a guy who asks rudely so make the asking a respectful a person. Show her that you are actually interested and that you are critically hoping she’s say indeed to a date with you.

The Scheduled Day

The moment you have efficiently asked a female for a date and she suggests indeed, you will need to have to take into consideration what day and time that will be. Request her straight out what agenda would be easy for her. The moment you have both agreed on a specific agenda, make absolutely sure that you present up for the date punctually. Punctuality is a have to and it shows that you are a accountable guy.

The Bouquets

It is a very good strategy to get flowers for your date. Girls will often value a bouquet and it shows that you are thoughtful plenty of to assume of bringing something when you present up on her doorstep or the position you agreed to fulfill at.

The Location

You will need to have to find a suitable venue for a date. Make absolutely sure that your date is aware of beforehand what the date will compose of so that she will know what to have on. A surprise venue will be for later. Try to remember that you are however on the very first stage and that you will not want her to come to feel awkward all in the course of the date.

Conclusions

Men will normally choose the initiative to call for a date. As a result, it is predicted that the guy will know how to act appropriately all through the date. Just after all, it will be that very first date that will choose possibly the get started of a beautiful romance or the close of a relationship romance that has only began. Pursuing the relationship recommendations for men talked about previously mentioned will help you considerably in get to carry out a successful date.

Topics You Really should Never ever Discuss on a First Day

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Dialogue can be challenging enough on a initially date, but the very last detail you want is for your discussion matter to be the purpose why the date was not a accomplishment. What at any time you come to a decision to talk about, make sure it is not all about you. It is really okay to converse a little bit about on your own, but try to pay back consideration and display an fascination to your date much too. Dialogue is incredibly significant, so you need to display your date that you can hold a good dialogue.

In no way converse about your ex spouse. Apart from creating your date sense uncomfortable, they will suppose you even now have feelings for your ex and are secretly hoping to get again alongside one another. Your date will consider you are not all set to shift on and will give up on striving to make the date a accomplishment. We all have exes and they are exes for a purpose, so it is not a dialogue your date would like to share with you.

Revenue is an uncomfortable matter to talk about. Irrespective of whether you have masses or not much, no 1 desires to listen to you moan about how skint you are or hear to you boast about how much you gain or have in the bank. The only kinds intrigued in your financial predicament are these who are not intrigued in you, just your cash. It is really not a great notion to talk to your date about their finances or how much they gain it is intrusive and off-putting. If they are intrigued in the authentic you, cash won’t subject.

Chatting about sex and your sexual encounters on a initially date is in no way a great notion. Apart from scaring your date off, you threat supplying off the improper effect and show up like you might be only right after 1 detail. This is a matter that can be discussed at a potential date.

Chatting about relationship on a initially date is selected to scare your date off. It could be your extended-expression approach, but mentioning it on a initially date certainly won’t make your approach appear sensible any time soon. Relationship is all about getting to know another person and experiencing on your own a initially date is far much too soon to be preparing your wedding ceremony alongside one another. By conversing about weddings and how numerous infants you would like to have, you might be carrying out a great career of ensuring a 2nd date won’t occur.

Generally try to keep constructive and converse about constructive points. Chatting about negative points won’t do you any favours, it will provide the entire mood of the date down, thus try to stay clear of any unfortunate tales you have. By becoming constructive, your positivity will rub off on these all-around you and you will display that you are a genuinely pleased and safe person.

In no way criticise your date it is pointless and upsetting. If there is a element of your date’s existence they are self-acutely aware about, such as their physical appearance, their career or how they converse, really don’t make any pointless responses about it. It is really anything they’re absolutely aware of and you creating it an situation actually won’t do you any favours. By criticising another person on a initially date, regardless of whether intentional or not, you can be selected a 2nd date won’t come about.

In no way give your date a pet title on a initially date. It could appear sweet to you, but it is far much too soon and your date will sense they have been thrown straight into a major romantic relationship, not just a exciting initially date. If you want to make it to a 2nd date, adhere to working with their authentic title.

Attempt not to remark on anyone all-around you, regardless of whether it is to compliment or snicker at another person. By complementing another person, you are not showing any regard for your date and they are going to sense unimportant, in particular if you mention how eye-catching another person is. By heartlessly laughing at many others you will come throughout as becoming immature and not a incredibly great person. Maintain centered on your date and overlook these all-around you.

Online Relationship Perceptions

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Social networking and on the web courting is presently the warm pattern and lots of men and women are turning to internet courting web pages to obtain good friends, romance, love and connections. Quite a few men and women are more snug with courting on the web, due to the fact some of them could be shy and have a worry of facial area to facial area rejection. This is one of the explanations why internet courting has grow to be so preferred these days.

With the rise of internet and changes in modern day life, internet courting has grow to be very preferred among daters of all ages. Because of to busy everyday living schedules, men and women have moved to chat rooms and professional courting solutions to obtain their everyday living spouse. The internet courting business has been steadily expanding, even in the course of the international economic downturn and financial slowdown.

Typical procedures of courting these types of as conference in bars and restaurants are very high-priced in contrast to on the web courting. And men and women can now access and fulfill way more men and women by means of internet courting solutions then by means of any of their networks and good friends. This is one more explanations why internet matchmaking solutions are coming so preferred.

These on the web professional courting solutions match subscribers centered on metrics these types of as education and learning, job, hobbies, and values. These web pages also conduct identity checks to establish the great match. Therefore with the support of science, these web pages assure to give extensive long lasting romance.

SOCIAL STIGMA

Nevertheless the perception of courting on the web has been altering, there are nevertheless some men and women that are ashamed to be attached to obtaining romance by using site courting solutions. While even those people teams (like more mature, divorced men and women) are now beginning to warm up to the concept.

There is also some misguided beliefs that on the web daters are determined and unwanted. That is just a myth and these days all people from corporate men and women, to non-revenue managers, to governing administration staff members are obtaining love and companionship on the web.

Accomplishment IN Online Dating

There are some troubles attached with on the web courting that men and women should be wary of:

    • Honesty: Some men and women may possibly simply just use this option to dupe some others by not disclosing their real selves or cases.
    • Distorted Perception: Some men and women may possibly fill out their profiles wholly mistaken in order to entice men and women they imagine could not otherwise want to get to know them.
    • Addictive: Some men and women have been recognized to build more than one profile and hook up with more than one spouse concurrently, just to have exciting with his/her varying on the web identity.

Accomplishment in on the web courting normally takes currently being open up (but not too open up) and honest about who you are and what you’re seeking for in a spouse. If you are seeking to just flirt and fulfill plenty of new men and women, don’t say you want to get married just to get more men and women intrigued in you.

Presence OF Several On the internet Websites

On the internet profiles don’t occur with any guarantees but there are lots of on the web courting web pages that use verification methods, these types of as verifying mobile quantities and these types of. Protection actions are also taken by lots of courting web pages, these types of as profiles currently being invisible to unidentified folks.

Quite a few web pages give chat rooms, message boards and online video-chats to enable larger authenticity of on the web daters. And lots of courting solutions give filters that allow for intrigued individuals to fill in the essential basic characteristics in their possible partners.

Each yr new on the web courting web pages spring up presenting safety actions, chemistry matches, and chatting options for those people looking for love. Perceptions of on the web courting are speedily altering and internet courting web pages will before long be the variety one mainstream way to obtain passionate pursuits.

 

There are now lots of on the web courting solutions these types of as Match, Plenty Of Fish, eHarmony, Chemistry.com, Excellent Match, and Christian Mingle to name just a couple. Plenty Of Fish is nevertheless deemed the greatest, and is cost-free (although if you want extras you may need to update.) Others can demand pretty a bit of income, some up to $fifty a month, for their solutions. It’s very best to shop all-around 1st, examining the costs and safety actions, and examining out any matching/chemistry resources that support in obtaining compatible matches.

 

Stay away from Heading To These Spots On Your 1st Day

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First impressions are all the things, so it is really significant to make a fantastic just one on your to start with date. It can be not all about chemistry and dialogue, whilst it surely will help. If you will not hit it off on the to start with date, the odds of getting a second are trim to none. Your to start with date is a opportunity to get to know the person you’d like a romance with, so picking a fantastic location is crucial. The locations shown are study outcomes from a well-liked on the internet courting site. The listing is ordered from locations to prevent to locations that would make a fantastic date.

The to start with position you should really totally prevent getting a to start with date, is a family members function of any variety. I’m baffled that some people today would essentially bring someone to a family members function on their to start with, second or even 3rd date. The extra strain of impressing not only you but also your family members could send your date functioning for the hills. Not to point out that when households get collectively, there is generally some form of shenanigans heading on and that could get embarrassing.

The second position you should really prevent are dance clubs. Dance clubs are crowded, noisy, and whole of men seeking to select up gals. The goal of a to start with date just isn’t to see if your dates’ hips will not lie but to see if they have romance probable and if you have chemistry collectively. If you just have to choose your date and your jazz fingers out for a spin on the dance flooring, uncover a classier position to dance – not a club. In addition to clubs, you should really also prevent getting your date to a bar.

Relocating together to the upcoming location: films. The fantasy of producing a link by means of an accidental grope when reaching for popcorn died with 90s. As I have stated in advance of the to start with date is all about having to know your date, not sitting in silence staring at a screen.

Sporting situations are also a position to prevent. Sports activities tends to bring out the macho alpha-male in guys and tends to be a turn-off for most females. The combination of drunk angry followers, confront-paint and sounds won’t precisely scream romance possibly.

These are the locations you should really prevent on a to start with date. The natural environment is the most significant facet of a to start with date. You could be the sweetest, passionate person in the entire world but if you go to a movie, how is your date suppose to see that in you? When you’re seeking to figure out where to choose your date, be initial and surprising. Rather of getting your date to that awesome ninja-themed restaurant, attempt an evening stroll with street foodstuff and performers. Affordable foodstuff and a present. If you met the person on an on the internet courting site, check out out their profile to see what they like and attempt to match that into the date.

Men to Avoid Dating – A Girl’s Conversation Cheat Sheet

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Are you a single woman trying to find your Mr. Right? Then you need my ‘Conversation Cheat Sheet’. It helps you avoid meeting or considering a first date with a guy who is wrong for you. My cheat sheet works best when you haven’t met the guy yet. Let’s say you’ve started talking on the phone after he’s contacted you from an internet dating site. My cheat sheet shows you how to find those red flags that tell you when the guy is “bad news”. The most important thing you must realize is that talking on the phone at length with a guy you’re considering meeting for first time or even considering a first date with after you briefly met  each, is very important if you are looking to find a potential “friend/companion with benefits, love interest, or dating partner”. Screening a guy on the phone is crucial. Why?

Well, the 1st reason you must talk at length on the phone before you meet him or date him is because you have to find out about his “attitude” about key things in his life, including his attitude about himself and the people in his life. Believe it or not, a guy’s attitude about his life is easy to detect when you talk on the phone once you know what questions to ask and how to read his attitude in his answers. And that’s why I devised this cheat sheet; to show you how to read his attitude. You can figure out his attitude about a lot of things in just a few phone conversations. And that attitude will tell you how well he will treat you, whether you are compatible, and whether he can offer you what you are looking for in a dating relationship. Find this hard to believe? Are you saying to yourself right about now, “Yeh, right, I barely got to know my boyfriend after dating him 6 months, so how will I know anything about a guy in just 2 phone conversations?” Well, most women do find out a lot about a guy’s attitude on a myriad of things in just a few phone conversations, but they do not consciously acknowledge seeing these things to themselves. That’s because they are so intent on landing a guy, that they just want him to like her and desire her. They just worry about the guy wanting them instead of focusing on whether the guy is even right for them. And that’s the problem with feeling desperate about getting a boyfriend. You make choices based on fear, and not based on truly loving and caring about yourself.

The 2nd reason you must use this cheat sheet and screen a guy on the phone is because you must get in touch with YOUR ATTITUDE ABOUT THE GUY’S ATTITUDE. Yes, believe it or not, we usually have already established in our mind subconsciously an attitude about the guy we’ve spoken to. We have reacted to his words and formed our own attitude about his attitude on life and buried it deep inside us. So, this cheat sheet is really a way for us to acknowledge what we already see about him and unearth our attitude about it. We will see if he is going to have an attitude that focuses on us and respects us and treats us well. We will frankly see our attitude about his attitude towards his ex. We will acknowledge when we don’t like his attitude about blaming his wife for everything. We will acknowledge how we feel, which is “if he can talk this way about her, he can treat us in the same disrespectful way.” We often “blindly” see red flags about the guys we date and ignore them. But when we follow the cheat sheet, we face seeing these things and don’t blindly give a guy a chance thinking this time he’ll be different with us. The truth is, for most guys, they never change how they live their life or treat women. They won’t work less, stop being promiscuous, spend less time with their kids or be less frugal with money.

One of the things women tell me when they use “the Cheat Sheet” is that they never find a guy that passes the cheat sheet test. “If I go by the cheat sheet,” then I’ll never have anyone to date” they tell me. And my answer to you is this: The cheat sheet works in miraculous ways. It helps you to eliminate many potentially bad dating partners in your life. Yes, you may have a dry spell from dating anyone for awhile, but you are also avoiding many potentially bad relationships. You may be dateless for months, passing up opportunity after opportunity with all those potentially wrong partners. And then, one day, when you are open and free and have made it clear to the universe exactly who you are looking for, that guy who passes the cheat sheet with flying colors will come into your life. Yes, you may not date as much at the beginning of using the Cheat Sheet test and that’s fine. Being selective means weeding out all those potentially wrong partners. Giving anyone a chance by dating him is just telling the universe there is something about this guy I don’t like but that’s okay. ‘”It’s okay for me to date guys that have things about them I don’ like” is the message you give the universe. Because the truth is, deep in your subconscious you are aware of the hings you don’t like about him. And that is why this type of guy keeps entering your life:  The wrong one for you that you just keep accepting.

Another reason it’s important not to meet or date a guy you’ve met right away is because, when you meet a guy and have a strong physical attraction to him, all your common sense about whether he’s right for you goes out the window. Yes, you’ll tend to overlook those red warning flags about him that will ultimately make you miserable when the sexual chemistry starts to wane in the relationship. The Cheat Sheet gives you red warning flags about a GUY’S ATTITUDE that shows whether he is capable of being a caring and giving love partner. It gets you in touch with your attitude about whether he is right for you. Most women look at statistical facts about a guy to decide if he is dating worth dating her. But statistical facts mean very little. Why? Because a guy can make $150,000 yearly and be so cheap that he acts like he earns $35,000 yearly; a guy can be a loving father with his kids and make them his whole life to the point of making you feel like “the other woman” in his life; a guy can have a great job and work day and night and never be there mentally or emotionally for you. Get the picture? It’s his attitude about money, his kids, and his job that matter. And this attitude is one he will show you when you talk on the phone, if you know how to look for it.

My Cheat Sheet covers a man’s attitude about these key areas of his life:
1) his attitude about past relationships with women including his wife
2) his attitude about work and play
3) his attitude about valuing the things you value in your life
4) his attitude about money
5) his attitude about sex and monogamy
6) his attitude about his hobbies and addictions
7) his attitude about his kids
8) his attitude about himself and his life in general .

There is a lot you can tell about a guy’s attitude in the key areas of his life from just a few conversations with him, without getting into details and facts about his life. Most guys are very transparent about their attitude towards women, work, money, sex, their kids, and you. It’s his attitude about these things that matter more than the facts about them. Knowing his attitude about these things just takes a few phone conversations, when you know what to talk about and focus on. And a few phone calls is a whole lot better than going out on an uncomfortable blind date and then realizing the guy isn’t for you. So if a guy pressures you to meet him right away, just say you aren’t sure yet when you’ll be free. Let him keep calling you and you’ll eventually get a good idea about his attitude on a lot of things very quickly. And if he passes the “Cheat Sheet Red Flag test”, then meet him with the positive attitude of knowing he has the potential of being a good partner for someone. And that someone might possibly be you. After all, wouldn’t you prefer to know before meeting a guy that he is cheap or a workaholic, than start dating him and finally realize it after months of dating? I know I wish I had.

So let’s get started:

The Cheat Sheet Test Red Flag #1: His Attitude about his Past Relationships with Women

You don’t need to know the details about how many women he’s dated since his divorce or how many women he’s had sex with since he left his wife, even though it would be nice to know. Most likely a guy will not want to talk about it or tell you the true details on the phone before he meets you (or possibly ever). But he will usually have something to say about his ex and why the marriage ended or why the relationship ended with his girlfriend. You must bring up the subject by asking him how long he was with his ex and why the relationship or marriage ended. Then sit back and LISTEN TO THE FIREWORKS DISPLAY! The most important thing is HIS ATTITUDE about the past women in his life. Does he act respectful towards his ex? Does he harbor angry feelings? Does he blame her for ruining his life? Does he show resentment towards her? Does he have the attitude that she was the one responsible for the marriage ending or she cheated on him? Does he have the attitude that he was a victim of her mean, cheating, unappreciative behavior? Does he own up to any part in the relationship failing? Does he refer to her using derogatory words like “bitch” or “slut”? Does he still have a good relationship with her if he shares custody of the kids with her? Another sign to look for is whether he is still emotionally attached to his ex. Does he talk about her endlessly by either talking about how much he dislikes/hates her; all the things she did to him; or can he not even bring up the subject of talking about her without looking like he’s going to implode? Some men are not emotionally over an ex, the pain or anger is deep within them and you will sense it. AVOID MEETING OR DATING GUYS LIKE THIS. If he has a healthy attitude about women and his ex, he may say very little but what he does say will sound respectful and he will act fine with the fact the relationship ended. He will not hold any grudges or harbor any ill will or deep rooted resentment and anger. When a man is narcissistic, with deep rooted anger issues towards women, he never owns up to his responsibility in a relationship or life in general. Sometimes a man is in a relationship where the woman cheats on him and he is a victim of her promiscuity, but even that kind of man is one you want to avoid. He still has intimacy issues with women. Most men who have anger towards an ex are often guilty of “objectifying” women. They see women as servants that are supposed to act and be a certain way; more as their possessions to control. The truth is: No one person ruins a marriage or a relationship. It takes a lot of work to make a marriage work and any man who blatantly sees his partner as the one to blame for everything that went wrong is someone who didn’t care about doing his part in being giving and caring in the relationship. Don’t fall for his “feel sorry for me I was a victim of a cold, selfish, uncaring, cheating wife”. And if he claims he never had sex with his wife in the marriage for years, he’s either lying or he’s been having affair(s) throughout his marriage.

Red Flag Item #2: His Attitude about Work and Play

You don’t need to know how many hours he works but you do need to know his attitude about being busy and his attitude about what he has going on in his life. Does he act like every minute of his day is booked with some important thing going on? Does he make time to spend talking to you and does he show an interest in your life? Is he calling you when he’s driving somewhere and only has a few minutes to converse with you before he reaches his destination?

Men who are workaholics are usually “busy drones” at home, always working on some project and never being free to talk to or relate to you because they are always involved in fixing or doing something. Avoid men who say they “work hard and play hard”, that’s just “workaholic justification” babble. If a guy has the ability to relax and enjoy life, you’ll know it by what he says to you when he has to get off the phone; does he have to get back to painting the bedroom or doing some chore? And can he plan meeting you in advance? If he is a workaholic he will also have commitment issues. Does he change the day or time last minute for your first meeting? Does he always seem hurried and busy? Does he always suggest you drop everything and meet him the night he calls you? Does he make you feel like you are taking up his precious time when you talk to him? It’s amazing that in our society today, so many men are addicted to work at work and at home, and we, as a culture, embrace it. But dating a guy who makes you feel like he’s honoring you with his time is not the kind of guy you will feel fulfilled dating. He will “never mentally and emotionally be there for you”. When you talk on the phone to guys like this, you will know it. You will feel it and sense it. Don’t let the temptation to be that “all important woman that he finally cares more about than all those other precious things he has scheduled in his life” make you want to meet him or date him. You will only be that one more thing on his “to do list”. AVOID MEETING OR DATING HIM.

Red Flag #3: His Attitude about Valuing the Things You Value in Your Life

This one is really important. Are you both on the same playing field in life? Is he on a completely different planet from you? Most men I’ve dated did not relate to me in terms of accepting my interests in life. I always changed who I was to be compatible with them in every relationship. And ultimately, when I just couldn’t take not being me anymore, the relationship ended. Can you be who you truly are with this guy? I believe every woman, when they talk to a guy, get’s a feeling in her gut, whether they can be who they are in a relationship with him or whether they would have to change something about their life or themselves to make the relationship work. You will know it, by talking to him, if he’s the type of guy who’ll ever be interested in what interest you in your life. Does he ask about something you told him on the 1st phone call on his 2nd phone call to you? If you had a cold, does he ask “how’s your cold?” Or, if you were going somewhere the day he called, does he ask whether you had a good time the 2nd time he calls you? If you want a guy who’ll remember your favorite clothing store when it’s your birthday and buy you something from that store, then you’ll have to listen to how much he pays attention to the things you tell him about your life. You’ll sense it when you talk to him if he is interested in knowing about you and your interests. You’ll know when you suggest a movie you want to see or a restaurant you want to go to and he’s enthusiastic about finding out the show times for your movie or mapquesting how to get to your restaurant pick.

You’ll know how much you are compatible by how he spends his days. You’ll know how much you will have to change your life to be compatible with his by what his hobbies are. Ask him what he likes to do and what his hobbies are. You will get the feeling that your lives can mesh beautifully just as they now are, or you will get the feeling that you would have to lower your standards, change your goals, live somewhere you don’t want to live, be with kids you don’t want to be with; accept things you truly morally can’t accept; or never get along on certain subjects by what he tells you about how he lives his life. Ask him his goals in life. You might be surprised to learn he plans to move out of state in 2 years. There are so many ways a guy can look good on paper, but if you have that feeling in your gut that you would have to change an important part of you to be compatible with him, then DON’T MEET OR DATE HIM.

Red Flag #4: His Attitude about Money

Another major thing to get a good gut feeling about is his attitude about  money. Many men have emotional anger issues related to money. They feel they don’t earn enough to feel self worth; they feel like failures because they didn’t succeed in the profession their father picked for them (and their father has reminded them about this ever since); they feel their ex financially stripped them of financial stability (she got the house lament); they pay child support and feel stripped financially by their ex wife and kids. Most men are open books about their negative attitude about their finances. They will complain about their hardships or make sarcastic jokes about it. Their anger issues with money are never well hidden; you will sense when something about their financial situation just isn’t sitting right with them “emotionally”.

It’s important for you to know what you want in a relationship with a man and to honor your needs and desires. Do you want a man who can offer you financial stability, who owns his own home and can afford to take you to nice restaurant and enhance your life financially? Or, are you okay with being the one paying for things because you are financially stable? Be honest with yourself and listen to a guy’s attitude about his financial situation. If you want someone who can add to or compliment your life, do not accept meeting or dating a guy who is driving a beat up old car, and barely has enough to pay the bills after he pays for child care. DON’T MEET OR DATE MEN WHO CANNOT GIVE YOU THE FINANCIAL LIFESTYLE YOU DESIRE. Love does not conquer all. When you try to make a relationship work with a man who has anger issues with money, who never wants to spend money living the kind of life you want to live; who doesn’t have your aspirations (because he doesn’t want to put his money towards those life goals); who doesn’t care about your needs and desires with money; you will be miserable witth him. If a guy has money issues, you will know it just by the attitude he has about money. And definitely do not date anyone who is separated and not divorced. Many a relationship can become strained by divorce, because divorce is costly and can often change a man’s financial situation overnight as well as his emotional state of mind.

Red Flag #5: His Attitude about Sex and Monogamy

Men looking for a sexual fling are open books. They will only focus on the physical with you; constantly complimenting you about your appearance; and bringing up the subject of your anatomy and sex into every conversation. It isn’t worth trying to find out how many sexual partners a guy like this has had since his divorce or whether you are one of 10 women he’s trying to date this week from that internet dating site. Guys like this will never be honest about their intentions. Guys only wanting a sexual relationship or guys with sex addictions (of which there are many) who are serial daters who date until they have sex with a woman and then move on, will call you every night until they finally get to meet you and have sex with you. They must meet you immediately and can never plan a date with you in advance (or if they do, they’ll change the date and time last minute). They are guys who want to see you the day they call you. Some women are turned on by these “bad boys” because they often appeal to a woman’s vanity by making her feel like they finally found the beautiful woman of their dreams. And they always lament how, “I just can’t find the right woman who understands me” to appeal to your codependent need to help them. The more they give you the impression they need to see you immediately and not let another day go by without glancing at your gorgeous face and eyes, the more they are looking to have a sexual fling. And the more they paint themselves as victims of selfish women who mistreated them and used them, the more they are narcissistically describing themselves. DON’T MEET OR DATE GUYS LIKE THIS.

Red Flag #6: His Attitude about his Hobbies and Addictions

Many men have addictions: addictions to work, addictions to drugs, addictions to alcohol, addictions too sex, addictions to an ex. And yes, so do women. But this is our cheat sheet, and for our cheat sheet to be successful, we can’t have the addictions we are trying to avoid in the men we date. I’ve already talked about sex and work addiction. If there is one thing that always contributes to the demise of a relationship, it’s an addiction. So how do you know in 2 conversations with the guy you’re considering dating has an addiction?

A lot of men hide their addictions to drugs and alcohol very well, especially on the phone. Of course you’ll know he’s had alcohol addiction when he can’t order a drink on the first date. But why wait till then to find that out he’s been an addict and you don’t want to date him? Some men even hide alcohol addiction well after dating you for several months until they get you emotionally dependent on them. Then suddenly they’ve had too much to drink in front of you and gone into an alcoholic rage. Wouldn’t it be great if you could weed out those guys that have alcohol and drug addiction before you even meet him? The good news is: yes you can.

The one thing about men with addictions is that: they all have “addictive personalities”. How do you know if the guy has an addictive personality? If he does he will often have a serious obsession with doing some kind of hobby, or be obsessed about fantasizing about a goal in his life that he does things to plan for (like reading real estate for hours on end because one day he wants to buy a house down the shore). The point is, he takes a hobby or interest and brings it to the level of an obsession. So listen to the things he used to enjoy doing or is now doing with his life. How much did it or does it control his world? Ask him all about his hobbies. If he seems obsessively into something that he can’t seem to stop talking about doing, (and he will expect you to change your life to conform to the demands that his obsessive hobby makes on him), he usually has an addictive personality and possibly even more serious addictions, such as a sex addiction, work addiction, or alcohol/drug addiction. Guys like this will one day be obsessed with body building and the next day they will have a business project they obsessively spend time on and then that will disappear and they will become addicted to making miniature planes. Guys with addictive personalities do not hide their obsession from you.They talk about them constantly and fondly recollect past ones. DO NOT MEET OR DATE MEN WITH OBSESSIVE HOBBIES OR ADDICTIONS.

Red  Flag #7: His Attitude about his Kids

I have met many men on the internet whose entire social world consists of doing things with their children from a past marriage. You may be telling yourself, once he dates me he’ll spend time with me and his kids will take a back seat. The answer is no. If a man constantly talks to you about his kids and when you ask him what he did that week you realize that his social life consisted of taking his children shopping, you are always going to compete with his children for his love. A man with a healthy relationship with their kids also has friends he spends time with and does things with. Some men will give you a feeling in your gut that their daughter has become a substitute companion replacing their wife (in an emotional, not sexual way). DO NOT MEET OR DATE MEN LIKE THIS

Red Flag #8: His Attitude about Himself and his Life in General

There are happy men who love life, and then there are men who are angry, unhappy and miserable about their life. When you talk to a guy, you will know in your gut which kind he is. Men who are happy with life and themselves never complain about their “bad luck” and “misfortunes”. They find humor in things and they have an optimistic point of view. They don’t make sarcastic comments about life or people, such as, “My daughter came over the other day and took hold of my wallet again”. Guys who like life, like themselves and will be able to like you and make life a happy experience for you are guys who don’t seem to have a black cloud of bad luck that’s always following them in life. When a guy has that cloud of bad luck, it’s because he mentally brings it into his reality. You will know in your gut if you are talking to a happy guy who sees life with the glass half full or a guy who sees life with the glass always half empty. You will know when a guy carries that black cloud because there is impending doom in every aspect of his life: his job is on the line, he lost money, his friend swindled him, his car just broke down, he just had another fight with his brother, he just got another speeding ticket, etc. MEET THOSE GLASS HALF FULL GUYS.

The point to the Cheat Sheet is this: you have to believe that you deserve to be discerning. Exposure to lots of guys through the internet is fine, but dating lots of them until you just happen to click with one of them is a lesson in futility. You have the right to screen guys on the phone to make sure they don’t have the kind of attitude that will make you miserable being with them. You have to stop listening to those well intentioned friends and relatives who say to you, “just meet him, stop worrying about whether he is right for you, just give him a chance”. The pressure to just have someone to date to make everyone around you happy won’t be easy to avoid. But it’s because women buckle to that pressure that so many are in unfulfilling relationships that ultimately end. We must be selective about who we date. We deserve to date a guy without anger issues who has a positive attitude about his life. We must tell the universe we don’t want to spend our life with anyone who gives us that bad feeling in our gut. We must stop caring about having no one to date. We must allow the right guy into our life by not wasting time with the wrong one. So screen guys on the phone and be very selective. It’s your life’s happiness that’s at stake and that happiness is something you truly deserve.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1718252

Speed Dating

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Heard enough pick-up lines? Don’t like nightclubs? Sat through one too many bad blind dates? Can’t seem too meet new dates? Pushed for time? Why not try speed dating?

Fast dating. Hurry dating. 3 minute dating. 8 minute dating. Coco Swan has researched the newest dating fashion to sweep the world and gives you all the speed dating tips to increase your chances of getting a tick on your dating card.

Speed dating is defined as an organized method of meeting potential romantic partners in which participants evaluate each other over the course of a single event through a series of brief one-on-one meetings. Coco did hear it being described elsewhere as “musical chairs with people as prizes”.

The concept of speed dating is the brain child of Rabbi Yaacov Deyo of Aish Ha Torah, who saw it as a way for Jewish singles to meet each other in large cities where they were in the minority. The word “SpeedDating” is actually a registered trademark of Aish Ha Torah. “Speed dating” is now a generic term for a similar concept. Other terms include: fast dating, hurry dating, 3 minute dating, and 8 minute dating. The first speed dating event occurred in Beverley Hills in 1998. After an episode in Sex and the City in 2000 the concept of speed dating really took off.

Speed dating is less intimidating than meeting strangers in a bar, and certainly a lot safer. It is being billed as a fast fun way to meet a room full of eligible strangers who are also looking to date. It is a great way to meet new people and enlarge your social circle. Since dating is really a numbers game, speed dating is perfect, as you can meet as many as 25 prospective dates at one event. Various companies obviously use different numbers but the more popular sites were using between 8-25 as their meeting numbers. Usually the event you will be attending will have people in the same age range as yourself. There are also many niche speed dating events out there catering for gay speed dating, black speed dating, older man younger woman, and various religious affiliations, including Jewish speed dating.

Speed dating is perfect for those who are time deficient. This concept is a real time saver as most people decide very quickly if they are going to be compatible romantically.

How Speed Dating Works:

A selected equal number of guys and girls attend a venue like a trendy lounge, café or bar. Every one is given the equivalent of a dating card. Every one will just be introduced by their first name for security purposes. Encounters seem to run from 3 minutes to 8 minutes depending on the company you are using. At the end of the allocated time a bell will ring, or a glass will be clinked, and all the males will get up and move one place on. If you should fancy what you have seen then you tick the appropriate box on your card. If you are lucky enough for reciprocated interest then within 1-2 days the company will line the two of you up. Some companies are now incorporating online dating with their speed dating services and these then match you up online. These companies are also offering the service of looking at profiles before you attend and then the company can invite any one you fancy along to the same event as you. Sounds pretty good to me!

Obviously, punctuality is essential with speed dating. If you are late you will throw the numbers out. Most companies make a point of saying that if you are late they will cancel you.
Likewise, once you have arrived, you are there for the duration, little short of medical emergency, because once again you will be messing up the ratios for everyone else. So if you are going to go, be on time and plan on staying to the end.

What to Wear:

You are going to be noticed at this event so you need to take some care with your appearance.
Make sure your outfit is venue appropriate. You should select an outfit that you feels flatters you and that you are comfortable in. Ladies, if you are going to be seated for the night do not wear a shirt that gapes when you sit down, or offers him a view down to your navel. Men, clean hands are a must as she will be looking at them. Obviously good personal hygiene is essential. A little of your favourite scent is good too, so long as you are not swimming in it. Natural make up supposedly works best for the girls at these gigs as the fellas find too much enhancing off putting and wonder what is underneath that needs hiding. The more confident you are feeling the more approachable you will be.

First Impressions do Count.

It can take as little as 4 seconds to mentally check out someone’s face, clothes and body.
People make snap judgments and will size up the possibilities of a relationship within minutes of meeting. In fact, researchers at Ohio University, using 164 new students, showed that after just 3 minutes the students could predict what sort of relationship they would have with their fellow students. Categories included good friends, lovers, and never speak again. The students who only chatted for 3 minutes were just as successful at predicting the future relationships as those who spent 6 or 10 minutes speaking. The more positively they viewed the potential future relationship played a huge part in how hard they then worked to get the relationship to work. The self fulfilling prediction then came into play and determined how much effort they were willing to put in. Obviously, if one party has negative thoughts they will be preventing the relationship moving further. The correlation to speed dating here being that they will not tick their card and adios.

How to make a Good Impression.

What to say:

Most people find that the more attractive the person they are trying to impress the more nervous they get. However, it won’t really matter what you say in the first 30 seconds because you will both be busy checking the other out. Always speak within reason. Say nothing inappropriate e.g.: “What were you thinking with the hair?” Here is a great little strategy to employ when the nerves strike.

1: Compliment them. Take a quick look at what they have obviously worked hard at or spent a lot of money on and choose that. People love to be praised and this is a quick way to win affection. Don’t get too carried away and come over as insincere or creepy.

2: Ask a simple question.

3: Introduce yourself.

At this point your date should feel secure. Then smile, look them in the eye and ask another question. If you find it is really hard work to click, then you are probably not destined to be soul mates. After the introductions are over keep the conversation flowing:

1: keep the talking about them.

2: steer away from shallow questions; try to make them a bit more meaningful.

3: don’t make it an interrogation or treat it like a job interview.

4: find out what they find is fun or exciting.

5: other safe topics are movies, siblings, past holidays, career in brief, sports, hobbies, movies and current affairs.

6: don’t forget the end goal is to get a date.

7: try to make them feel better about themselves without being insincere.

Body Language.
With time being an issue with speed dating, a lot of the signals you are giving and receiving are on a purely subconscious level. Body language and sexual chemistry everywhere! Here are some body language tips to make sure you are reading it right. Give off seriously interested gestures to keep them interested subconsciously.

The interested girl. Seated with legs crossed and her hand on her thigh. By sitting up straight she is showing her interest. Looking straight in your eyes with a tilted head shows a high level of interest. Exposing the wrist or palms shows honesty. Running fingers through her hair is another strong sexual body language gesture for flirting. Women also play with their necks or necklace when they are sexually interested. Girls also tend to start sticking out their chests when they spy a fellow they are interested in.

The interested guy. When guys go into flirt mode they will start stroking their ties, rubbing their noses and also playing with their hair. Depending on seating arrangements they will also often open up their laps to display their packages.

Bad signs for all include fidgeting and fiddling but can also just indicate nervousness. Holding your glass at chest height or higher makes you appear defensive. Arms crossed over your chest is also perceived to be some sort of physical barrier. Sitting slumped is also not seen as good body language. Beware of appearing to be shifty eyed.

Advantages of Speed Dating:

1: safe

2: allows singles to meet a large number of other singles at one event.

3: great if you have already dated all your friend’s friends or have a limited social circle of singles.

4: no face to face rejection.

5: both women and men have to interact, thus leveling the gender playing field.

6: time limits ensure that no one is stuck for too long with anyone they do not fancy.

7: women can go along with their friends.

8: you can hear what is being said.

9: age appropriate ranges.

10: cost efficient as you get numerous dates for the price of one.

11: no monopolizing of the hot talent, every one gets to spend time with everyone else.

12: you don’t have to be able to dance to impress anyone.

13: no tacky pick-up lines to listen to.

What not to do while Speed Dating:

!: Never give out personal details including phone numbers, last names, addresses, business cards or email addresses for safety purposes.

2: Never harass other dates to tick their date card for you.

3: Don’t treat it like a job interview.

4: Don’t be disrespectful.

5: No behaviour that could be construed as sexual harassment.

6: Never be late.

7: No asking for another date.

What are you waiting for? Sign on for your nearest speed dating event now!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/566772

Matchmaking Dating – Is Matchmaking Dating the Best Choice For You?

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Matchmaking dating is a unique form of dating. It has benefits that no other dating options have. It is a different experience that may not be for everyone so you should check it out and see if it is for you.

Matchmaking dating is often used by people who don’t have a lot of time. If you don’t have time to go to the bar every weekend or to spend hours searching free online dating sites then matchmaking dating is for you. Single parents find matchmaking dating extremely helpful in finding dates because they have limited free time and don’t want to waste it on searching for dates. Business professionals and entrepreneurs also find matchmaking dating extremely useful because they are so busy with their businesses. Matchmakers do the searching for you based on what you are looking for in a person and your personality. This saves you all the time that you would waste weeding out people that you are not interested in. While matchmaking dating is an excellent choice for single parents and busy business professionals, they are not the only people that can benefit from this method of finding dates.

People who are frustrated because they keep getting all the wrong dates also find matchmaking dating helpful. If you are someone who feels like you always find the wrong kind of people to date or you just have the worst dating luck then matchmakers might be the way to go. Also if you have a limited pool for dating choices, matchmaking dating can really open up your choices. If you have a person guiding you to dates that start out by matching your personality and what you are looking for then you have a better chance of having a successful date.

The matchmaking dating process starts out with you filling out a detailed profile. This profile covers your personality, your likes and dislikes, and your interests. It also covers what you are looking for in a person. During this process, the matchmaker gets to know a bit about you and gets to see a bit of what makes you special. This personalization helps them find just the right person for you to date or a limited dating pool for you to pick your dates from. The great thing about this is that you dates are based on things much deeper than a first impression at a bar. This gives your dates a greater chance of success.

Matchmaking dating speeds you on your journey to finding that someone special that you are ultimately looking for. A matchmaker’s goal is to unite you with the right date, the one person that you are looking to complete you. It is their job to look for the personality traits that make you unique and the ones that are unique in your idea of a perfect date. This isn’t something that everyone can do well. How many times have your friends set you up on a bad blind date? It takes training for most people to be able to make good dating matches. Matchmaker dating brings this level of professionalism to the table.

If you don’t have time to sit at the bar every Friday and Saturday night hoping to run into that perfect date than maybe you should try matchmaker dating. If you don’t have time to spend hours searching through all the people on a free online dating site then maybe matchmaker dating is the best option for you. Maybe you just feel that you have bad luck at dating and you are getting frustrated by the whole process. If so then maybe you should give matchmaking dating a try. On the other hand, maybe you just want professional help in finding a date because you don’t want to waste time on useless dates or worry about finding quality dates. There are benefits of matchmaking dating for a wide variety of people which is great because it provides a greater variety of people that could end up in your dating pool.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2059810

Why Men Can Date Younger Women

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I was having breakfast the other day with a friend who was giving dating advice to his son. For purposes of his anonymity, I am going to call just call him “Son.”

My friend said, “Son, you’re 18 so I am going to tell you how you date. Since you are 18, you are allowed to date a woman half your age plus seven.” Son looked at him and said, “Alright Dad. You’re 50, so that means you can date a woman who is 32. And that means I can date a woman who is 16.”

From where did this ridiculous rule come? You can date someone as young as half your age plus seven years? It’s so male-skewed, it’s ridiculous.

It’s no wonder that so many women feel men are so immature that they can’t date men their own age. It’s because of this urban legend that has gone around forever.

Based upon this rule, the only time as a man that you can date a woman your own age is when you’re 14 years old (because half of fourteen is seven, and seven plus seven is fourteen). So at the ripe old age of fourteen — the age when you still have pimples, are as insecure as can be and are unlikely to get anything more than a kiss from a woman your own age — that is the only time when you can enjoy dating a woman your own age?

What about if your ten year old looks at you and says, “I’m ready to date Dad.” Do you say, “No problem. Half your age is five. Add seven to that, and you can date a twelve year old — an older woman.” There is so much a twelve year old can teach a ten year old — advanced coloring, advanced texting, and so many other important life skills.

Then you get a little older. You’re 20 years old and, under this rule, you can date a 17 year old. Great! There you are in college, and you get to go back to high school again to find a girlfriend.

When you’re 25, you can date a 19½ year old. So there you are in the working world for the last three years, and now you can go back to dating sophomores in college. You can go back to attending frat parties and having people throw up on you.

When you’re 30, you can date someone that’s 22. That’s exactly where you want to be. You have been out in the business world for eight years, and you want to be dating a girl fresh out of college? You want to date someone who hasn’t actually had a real job yet, and is still going out and drinking like a college student?

When you’re 35, you can date a someone 24½. Now you’re dating someone eleven years younger than you. Your friends are going to be really impressed that you can date a younger woman.

When you’re 40, you can date a woman who is 27 years old. All right. So now she seems like an older woman at least. She’s been around the block a bit, but she’s still not a luscious incredible woman over the age of 30 yet. Under this formula, you can’t even date a woman over the age of 30 until you have hit 46.

At 46, you can date a woman who is 30. So, finally, at the age of 46 you can date a woman over the age of 30. That’s when women start to hit their sexual peak. So you finally at 46 get to have incredible sex with a beautiful, mature woman — but you have to wait 46 years to do it according to this urban legend.

When you’re 50, you can date a woman that is 32. That makes sense, considering the fact that an 18-year age difference is something to which you should really be accustomed.

At 60 you can date a woman who is 37. At 70 you can date a woman who is 42. Wow, at 70 the 42-year-olds are probably some of your daughter’s friends from high school that you grew up with who have now gone through divorces. So finally after all these years, you can actually date the kids you knew when they were kids.

At 80 you can date a woman who is 47. That’s exactly what women are looking for at that age. They would love to hang out with an 80-year-old guy. Here they are, still looking great, young and fantastic. There you are with your balls basically hanging down to your knees and your skin sagging everywhere. Half the day you can’t even get up without feeling pain. Thanks to Cialis, though, you can jump in the bathtub and get a hard-on.

When women date younger men, they are called “cougars” and people say they are messing around with younger guys. There is a negative connotation to a woman dating a younger man.

As a man, though, you are congratulated if you are 80 years old and dating woman who is 47 years old. You’re basically like Larry King.

Come on guys. It’s insane how ridiculous these rules are.

Maybe try dating people who are within seven years of your age. If you are 40 years old, try dating women who are 33 and 47 years old. You might learn something instead of always being the guy who has to teach.

Author Info:

David Wygant a leading personal dating coach, dating advice professional and image-maker. For 20 years David Wygant has worked to earn the trust of American men looking to transform their love lives. David also has a dedicated women’s dating advice site that offers a wealth of free dating information specifically for women.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6828637

Why Has Online Dating Become So Popular?

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The increasing number of dating sites goes to prove that this form of dating has become very popular. The fact is that these sites all have members meaning that large numbers of singles are trusting in them to find them the kind of relationships they could be looking for. But what exactly has seen to the increased popularity of the sites?

Exposure – If there is one major setback that comes with traditional dating is limited exposure to potential dates depending on where you stay and work. But with online dating, the boundaries are broken and you get exposure beyond your neighborhood and country. It is possible to meet singles across the globe and this comes is a good thing because the probability of you finding a compatible partner is quite high.

Convenience – Life can be hectic, especially when you have too many responsibilities because then it means you have less time to attend to other areas of life such as dating. The good thing about online dating is that you can maintain a relationship without having to interfere with your working schedule as it is the case with traditional dating. Considering that chats and emails are commonly used in online dating, you can handle them as you go about your usual duties and tasks. You also enjoy the flexibility of dating at any convenient time, even before retiring to bed something that would be impossible to do when you choose offline dating.

Flexibility – Online dating does not only make you flexible in time, but also in the number of dates you can have at a time. You can contact as many singles as you like and have the freedom to evaluate and drop them one at a time depending on your preferences. You can easily refuse approaches and end contact without worrying about hurting the feelings of other singles. You can also have more than one relationship going before making your choice without any awkward moments as it happens with traditional dating.

Variety – People have varying dating preferences. For instance, whereas some might be interested to date a different race, some would rather stick to their races and locations. Some might be interested in finding love and getting into serious relationships while others would rather do casual encounters with no strings attached. Online dating sites cater so such needs, offering a variety of all singles. Some sites actually accommodate singles from specific age groups and this is a feature that makes it easy for the singles to join the most relevant sites depending on what they are looking for. It is something that would be hard to do when dating offline.

Discretion – It is another thing that has made online dating popular today. When you join a dating site, you can keep it a secret for as long as you want or until a time when you are sure about the relationship and then you can let everyone who matters now about it. The privacy you enjoy can save you from ridicule that can arise from recurring relationship failures and it also gives you the freedom of enjoying relationships that would otherwise not be approved by people around you.

Online Normanton dating comes with a list of advantages, but you also need to be careful when joining a dating site because even this kind of dating does come with a number of challenges too.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9333360

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